This week, my one share-worthy thing is a powerful excerpt from the podcast, The Relevance of Sydney Banks Role, called, "A Calming, Peaceful Place", recorded on 25th August.
In this episode, Ana Holmback interviews Brooke Wheeldon-Reece, President of The SPARK Initiative, Inc. She's the co-author of S.P.A.R.K. Mentoring Programs (Speaking to the Potential, Ability and Resilience inside Kids) which are currently being taught to 1,000’s of children in Tampa, Florida and around the world.
"So... my daughter has tendencies, if she eats certain foods, certain chemicals or dyes, her mind goes a million miles an hour. One time, when she was nine, she was freaking out.
It'd been a huge day at the beach, I'd let the kids have a free-for-all, and by the time we got home, we were all showered and in bed and an hour later, she came into our room, and she was just flippin' out, her mind had been going for hours and she'd created all kinds of crazy stories.
So I took her outside and I said, "You have to calm down, you're saying some crazy things!"
And she's like, "I can't calm down, I CAN'T calm down!"
Then I said, "You know Gabriella... you don't have to believe everything you think..."
"Whadda ya mean?" Still freaking out..."Whadda ya MEAN!?"
And I said, "Well, Thought isn't real, it just looks real sometimes..."
Immediately, like whoosh...! She calmed down. And she said, "How come you haven't told me that be-FORE?!"
And I said, "I don't know! It just didn't seem necessary till right now!"
A year later, she was sitting on my bed, just playing with something and she said, "Remember that time you told me about Thought? That was cool, huh...?""
Here's my one share-worthy piece of wisdom for this week. I transcribed it from an interview on the interweb, a poem written by Mavis Karn as a gift for her students she once spent time with on summer camp. Decades later, she learned at least one student still had it folded up in his wallet...
"Dear Kids, Former Kids and Kids at Heart,
I have a secret to tell you.
Nobody meant to keep it from you, it’s just one of those things that’s so obvious, people can’t see it, like looking everywhere for your keys when they’re right there in your hand.
The secret is, that you are already a completely whole and perfect person.
You are not damaged goods.
You are not incomplete.
You are not flawed.
You are not unfinished.
You do not need remodelling, or fixing, or major rehabilitation.
You already have within you everything you need to live a wonderful life.
You have common sense, you have wisdom and genius, you have creativity, humour, self-esteem, you have love in your heart.
You are missing nothing.
The only thing that can keep you from enjoying all that you already are is a thought.
Not someone else’s thought.
Whatever thought you are thinking in the moment that feels more important to think than feeling grateful, alive, content, joyful, optimistic, loving and at peace.
That’s the only thing coming between you and happiness.
And guess who’s in charge of your thinking?
Guess who gets to decide where your attention goes?
Guess who gets to write, produce, direct and star in the moment you’re in the middle of?
Not your past (stored thought.)
Not the future (did you ever notice that it never shows up?)
Not your parents or siblings.
Or your friends, ditto.
They all think their own thoughts.
Or school, or television or situations or circumstances or anything else.
Thinking is an awesome capability.
Like any capability, it can be used either as a tool, or as a weapon against ourselves and others.
Just like any other tool, we can tell whether we’re using it for or against ourselves by how we feel.
When we think against ourselves or others we feel low, or get ourselves into trouble.
When we don’t, we usually feel OK and stay out of trouble.
Feelings exist to warn us away from using our thinking to create trouble in our lives and to guide us back to our natural, healthy ability to live our lives to the fullest.
So please, remember that our thoughts are not always telling us the truth.
When we’re in a low mood, feeling down, our thoughts are not to be trusted.
Our IQs drop.
When our thoughts pass and we lighten up, our thinking is once again creative, positive.
Our IQs go up.
The only way you can feel badly about yourself and your life is if you think badly about them.
It’s up to you, every single minute you’re alive.
It’s always up to you.
This is the best, most liberating secret I’ve ever learned, and I want you to know it too.
Mavis Karn ♥️
How does this resonate for you? I’d love to know! Please send an email if you’d like to. I respond to all messages…
Thanks for reading!
Good Morning Everyone,
Trusting this message finds you in good health during these most interesting of times?
Occasionally I stumble upon something valuable that I just haff to share. I was moved by this article so I thought hmmm, maybe other folks will find it moving too. Let me know how it affects you?
May your Monday treat you with the respect you deserve and as always, thank you for being there.
With love, Sandy xox
Your Worth (On the Night You Were Born)
by Dr. Amy Johnson
My daughter was given a book by her aunt. It wasn’t even an intentional gift, just thrown in with a bag of art supplies and hand-me-downs, all nonchalant-like.
It’s called On the Night You Were Born. I read it to her the other day. It begins:
On the night you were born,
The moon smiled with such wonder
That the stars peeked in to see you
And the night wind whispered,
“Life will never be the same.”
Because there had never been anyone like you... ever in the world.
So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain
That they whispered the sound of your wonderful name…
The whole world came together to celebrate, on the night you were born.
I read those words to my daughter with complete and utter knowing that every word was true for her. After all, I was there on the night she was born and I actually heard the wind whispering her name. The moon did shine brighter. I saw the stars peek in the window to see her. She believed it, no questions asked.
She knows her worth.
Do you know yours?
Never before in story or rhyme (not even once upon a time)
has the world ever known a you, my friend,
and it never will, not ever again…
Never another you, not before and not again.
This is true of my babies, your babies, me, you.
The world never has and never will know another you.
Can you feel the truth in that?
So whenever you doubt just how special you are
And you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,
Listen for geese honking high in the sky.
(They’re singing a song to remember you by).
Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.
(It’s because they’ve been dancing all night for you!)
The moon and the geese and the wind and the polar bears, all celebrating her! Of course they were. My perfect, innocent little baby was clearly worthy of all of that glee and she believes me when I tell her.
Do you know they celebrated you too, with the exact same exhilaration? And the grumpy old man down the street and the ex who cheated on you and you…you, you, you….
Much as I tried to hold it together, I cried as I read to my daughter.
She observed, “Mommy waaah” with her imitated crying noise. “Mommy sad?”
I told her Mommy was very, very happy that I got to be there the night she was born and see the celebration that ensued. And that I get to spend this lifetime with her, the only her there ever was and ever will be.
And I told her I was also a little sad that some people don’t remember that the geese honk and the moon shines for them.
Sometimes, when people grow up, they forget. Or they can’t believe it, no matter how hard they try. No matter how many people tell them, sometimes adults just can’t let it in. Some people don’t remember how special they are.
At my request, she promised with a pinky swear that she would always remember. She has no idea how difficult it might become as her mind grows up to tell stories and then believe those stories. Or how difficult it might be when she feels the standards and judgments of the world around her. But she promised to try, anyway.
Can you try, too?
It’s not too late to at least try to see it all as a celebration of you.
If the moon stays up until morning one day,
Or a ladybug lands and decides to stay,
Or a little bird sits at your window awhile,
It’s because they’re all hoping to see you smile…
Here's my one share-worthy thing for this week.
Lately, I’ve been experimenting with the word “experiment".
Experimenting with the possibility of change.
We’ve all found ourselves stuck in habitual thinking, “believing” that we can’t change, that it’s too hard or too scary, that it’s “just who I am” or "just the way it is.”
"We all make up arbitrary rules and then live by them as if they're true.” Michael Neill
But when I simply experiment with change, the pressure eases and possibilities emerge.
Some personal examples of experimenting with change currently include:
* When I’m speaking to my darling hubby about something important, I experiment with communicating in a way that’s serious without being heavy, being more creative with how I get my message across, inspiring change without turning it into a problem (after all, conflict is 10% content and 90% delivery.)
* Being more idle. I love achieving and being productive, but sometimes to the detriment of my physical health. How can I increase the time I spend relaxing? (After all, we’re human beings, not human doings.)
* Consuming less. (After all, frugal is the new black.) 😇
How about experimenting with the simple but profound idea that change IS possible?
Experiment with the idea that you can let go of any arbitrary rule (made of thought) which your brain dreamt up at some point in the past to protect you.
So, is there something in your life that you can imagine happening differently? What would that look like? Do you want more of something, or less of something? How could you test it out, explore it, try it on for size, take a few baby steps? No pressure… if it doesn’t fit, you can always try something else...
How does this resonate for you? I'd love to know. Please send an email if you'd like to. I respond to all messages.
Thanks for reading!