Have you ever thought about this? You're actually the latest descendant of over 500 generations of modern human ancestors, the latest in a long line of survivors. Plagues, wars, famines... incredible pain, trauma and discomfort. From each of them, you have inherited everything you need to know in order to cope today.
In fact you’ve been coping all along, that’s why you’re still here.
Here are a few examples of coping in disguise:
These examples (and there are probably more you’ve attempted perhaps?) are all doing the same thing… they’re changing your thoughts in the moment which then directly changes your feelings. We’re all "living in the feeling of our own thinking". Our inner wisdom knows our own personal best way to self-soothe, our own system for changing our thoughts in the moment, that help us to feel better, that protect us. The answers are different for everyone.
If your attention is on your feelings, you'll be looking for ways to change the feeling. And that's OK. But technically, it's not your job. Thoughts and feelings can and do change, all by themselves. They're a wonderful in-built alarm system, alerting you to the fact that you think you're in danger, that you're not hanging around in the (safe) present moment. You're innocently hanging around in your (scary) thinking.
If your attention is on what you want or need to do next, the feelings will change all on their own. All you ever need to do is take the next small step, to respond to the world around you, rather than your feelings.
Your brain knows the best thing for you to do next. If it doesn't right now, this is what I do: I find a comfy chair, sit, and wait. Before too long, I can guarantee it, a thought will pop into my head and I'll be up and moving!
Truly, you need to give yourself a pat on the back and say, well done for making it this far!
Counsellor, Writer and Educator
Sandy would love to hear your thoughts and answer any questions. You can email Sandy here.